Saturday, September 12, 2009
Act like a Lady, Think like a Man - Steve Harvey
3 P's of Love
Profess - He will announce your title "girlfriend/fiancee/wife" to his friends. He is proud of being with you, has plans for you. Sees himself in a long-term r/ship with you and is serious.
Provide - Not just financially. He will pay the bills, and not spend on trifling things, and not selfishly give you a little and keep rest for himself. Or, he may be broke but he's still not going to let you go hungry. Provide, With no limits.
Protect - Willing to protect what is his. Not just about using brute, but in other ways, whether with advice, or stepping up to perform a task that he thinks is too dangerous for you.
3 things every man needs
..Women are complicated creatures. Joke: a woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four different men - an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay guy. Now the four of them combined? They got you covered.
The old man—he’ll sit around the house with you, spend his pension check on you, hug you, hold you, give you comfort,
and won’t expect any sex from you because, well, he can’t get it up no way. From him, you get financial security. The ugly
one? He’ll go above and beyond the call of duty to help you out: he’ll take the kids to their lessons after school, run you
down to the grocery store, wash the car on the weekends, babysit the cat—whatever you need, he’ll provide it because
he’s just happy someone as beautiful as you is paying him any kind of attention. From him, you get “me time.” He frees you
up to do all the things you need time to do. And then there’s the Mandingo man. You need a big ol’ Mandingo man. You
know what you gonna get from him. He’s big, he’s not that smart, can’t hold a good conversation, got muscles popping out
from his eyebrows to his pinkie toe and when you see him, you know he’s going to put your back out. That’s all you want from
him, and he makes sure he gives it to you real good. Mindblowing sex—that’s what you get from Mandingo. And then
you need a gay guy—someone you can go shopping with, who doesn’t want anything from you but gossip and details about
what the old man bought you, which errands you sent the ugly guy to take care of, and exactly how Mandingo had you doing
monkey flips for a week. See, the gay guy gives you all the conversation you need (smile).Four guys, supplying each of your needs should bring you happiness. I say should because for women, happiness isn't guaranteed. We fully recognize that you maintain the right to change at any time the perimeters, conditions, and specifics of what, exactly, will make you happy, and we try to adjust accordingly, and usually can't.
1. Support
We have to feel like somebody’s got our back—like we’re the king, even if we’re not.
So when we walk back in our house, we want to be able to let our guard down. All we want, really, is to hear you say,
“Baby, how was your day? Thank you for making it happen for us. This family needs you and wants you and is happy to have
you.” We’ve got to feel like we’re king, even if we don’t act kingly. Trust me, the more you make us feel like we’re special,
the more we’ll give in return. We’ll just try harder. Plain and simple. Take a page from my mother: every Sunday morning,
my daddy cut my hair for church, and when I got out of that chair, and lotioned up and put on my suit and my shoes and
walked into the living room where my mother was waiting for me, she would take one look at me and say, “Look at that boy’s
haircut—boy, you clean!” or “Look at you, boy—you sharp when you go to church!” I internalized the message—if I got a
fresh haircut and I put on a nice suit, my mother would compliment me, and I would walk out of the house with my shoulders
squared and head held high because my mother said I looked good and she was encouraging me to be presentable. And my
father’s chest was out as far as mine because every Sunday, she reminded him that he made it all possible; she kissed and
thanked him every Sunday.
A man needs that from his woman—he needs her to say,
“Baby, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you do for me and the kids.” Those simple words give us the strength to keep on doing right by you and the family. From working harder on the job, to bringing home that paycheck, to something as simple as throwing some meat on the grill on Saturday evenings or folding up a load of the laundry, we’ll do it more often if there is reward in it. That reward doesn’t cost you one red penny. It simply comes from the heart: Thank you, baby. I appreciate you.
You don’t know how important that is for your man; that little bit of encouragement makes him want to do more. You think
because we’re hard and we don’t want to cuddle that we don’t need that encouragement, but we do. And the woman who
comes along and says, “You so big and strong and you’re everything I need,” well, we’re going to go get some more of that!
2. Your Loyalty
woman’s love is emotional, nurturing, heartfelt— sweet and kind and all encompassing. You can slice a knife through it, it’s so thick. And when she’s in love with you, she is loyal to you—she can’t see herself with someone else, because for her, no one else will do. That’s a woman’s love.
ut for men, love is loyalty. We want you to show your love to us by being loyal. That means that no matter what, you’re
going to stand beside us. We get laid off, we know you’re going to stay, even if we’re not drawing a paycheck. You get around
your girlfriends, you’re going to say with great enthusiasm, “That’s my man. I’m loyal to him.” You’re going to hold on to our hand a little tighter and say from the bottom of your heart, “I don’t want any of those shiny, rich, fine men because my man is the only one for me!” (We can only hope that’s what you’ll say—smile.)
3. the Cookie
Men. Need. Sex. We love it. We need to be
physically engaged with the woman we love, the woman who is loyal to us and supports us, and the way that we do that is by
making love. The emotional stuff—the talking, the cuddling, the holding hands, and bonding, that’s y’all’s thing. We’ll do
those things because we know it’s important to you. But please understand: the way we men connect is by having sex. Period. It’s how we plug in, recharge, and reconnect.
You got about a good month at best without it. And then he’s going to get it from somewhere else (unless you’re carrying
his child).
Know this
1. Dont say "We need to talk."
2. If a man likes what he sees, he's going to go there and get it. He doesn't care anything about your personality or what you do for a living; your friends mean nothing to him, he just wants to know if he might be able to sleep with you, and he's talking to you to determine exactly how much he has to invest to get what he wants. Invest = your rules and requirements. (that you need his time, respect and attention)
3. Know his plans for you.
4. Lay out standards and requirements. (You need to respect me, put me and kids after God and above all others. Be clear to everyone involved in our lives that they will respect your relationship, and me.)
SportsFish VS keepers
"A Sports Fish:
Doesn't have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, and we men can pick up her scent a mile away. She's the party girl who takes a sip of her Long island Iced Tea or a shot of her Patron, then announces to her suitor that she just "wants to date and see how it goes," and she's the conservatively dressed woman at the office who is a master at networking, but clueless about how to approach men. She has no plans for any ongoing relationships, is not expecting anything in particular from a man, and sets absolutely not nary one condition or restriction on anyone standing before her - she makes it very clear that she's just along for whatever is getting ready to happen. For sure, as soon as she lets a man know through words and action that he can treat her just any old kind of way, he will do just that. Men will stand in line to sign up for that, believe me."
"A Keeper:
Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start from the moment you open your mouth. See, she understands her power and wields in like a samurai sword. She commands - not demands - respect, just by the way she carries herself. You can walk up to her and give her your best game, and while she may be impressed by what you say, that's no guarantee that she's going to let the conversation go any further, much less give you her phone number and agree to give you some of her valuable time. Men automatically know from the moment she opens her mouth that if they want her, they'll have to get in line with her standards and requirements, or keep it moving because she's done with games and isn't interested in playing."
Men cheat
- Because they can.
- They think they can get away with it. ("It aint me, I dont know who that is with my social security number all over his butt, with the same shoes as me, but that's not me!!")
- He hasn't become who he wants and needs or found who he truly wants.
- What's happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to. (Routine - and you've changed. The TY's come less frequently, there's alot of arguing going on... if he can't get what he signed up for back at the house, he's likely to go out and find it somewhere else..)
- There's always a woman out there who's willing to cheat with him.
Instead of Saying these.. say that
"I cant stand it when a man shows up late!" - SAY: Everybody is so busy these days - time sure is precious, isnt it? If I'm going to be late, it only takes a phone call to be courteous.
"if you're dating and sleeping with other women, Im not the one!" - SAY: I'm always honest with the man I'm dating; if I want to see other people besides him, I let him know up frotn so that he can decide if he wants to continue.
"I got 3 kids and 2 jobs because these children's dady aint worth a damn, so any man stepping to me better have a bank and be ready to raise some kids the right way or hit the highway" - SAY: Being a good mom is really important to me, and a part of being a good mom is making sure that my kids have a good father. I'm independent, but I realise how much better it would be for me and my family if a good man was in the picture.
5 questions to ask bfore getting in too deep
1. What are your short term goals? (to improve himself)
2. Long term goals (will have u in the plan)
3. Your views on r/ships
4. What you think about me? (ask to specify. why, list incidents)
5. What you FEEL about me? ¶ 5:09 AM
Profess - He will announce your title "girlfriend/fiancee/wife" to his friends. He is proud of being with you, has plans for you. Sees himself in a long-term r/ship with you and is serious.
Provide - Not just financially. He will pay the bills, and not spend on trifling things, and not selfishly give you a little and keep rest for himself. Or, he may be broke but he's still not going to let you go hungry. Provide, With no limits.
Protect - Willing to protect what is his. Not just about using brute, but in other ways, whether with advice, or stepping up to perform a task that he thinks is too dangerous for you.
3 things every man needs
..Women are complicated creatures. Joke: a woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four different men - an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay guy. Now the four of them combined? They got you covered.
The old man—he’ll sit around the house with you, spend his pension check on you, hug you, hold you, give you comfort,
and won’t expect any sex from you because, well, he can’t get it up no way. From him, you get financial security. The ugly
one? He’ll go above and beyond the call of duty to help you out: he’ll take the kids to their lessons after school, run you
down to the grocery store, wash the car on the weekends, babysit the cat—whatever you need, he’ll provide it because
he’s just happy someone as beautiful as you is paying him any kind of attention. From him, you get “me time.” He frees you
up to do all the things you need time to do. And then there’s the Mandingo man. You need a big ol’ Mandingo man. You
know what you gonna get from him. He’s big, he’s not that smart, can’t hold a good conversation, got muscles popping out
from his eyebrows to his pinkie toe and when you see him, you know he’s going to put your back out. That’s all you want from
him, and he makes sure he gives it to you real good. Mindblowing sex—that’s what you get from Mandingo. And then
you need a gay guy—someone you can go shopping with, who doesn’t want anything from you but gossip and details about
what the old man bought you, which errands you sent the ugly guy to take care of, and exactly how Mandingo had you doing
monkey flips for a week. See, the gay guy gives you all the conversation you need (smile).Four guys, supplying each of your needs should bring you happiness. I say should because for women, happiness isn't guaranteed. We fully recognize that you maintain the right to change at any time the perimeters, conditions, and specifics of what, exactly, will make you happy, and we try to adjust accordingly, and usually can't.
1. Support
We have to feel like somebody’s got our back—like we’re the king, even if we’re not.
So when we walk back in our house, we want to be able to let our guard down. All we want, really, is to hear you say,
“Baby, how was your day? Thank you for making it happen for us. This family needs you and wants you and is happy to have
you.” We’ve got to feel like we’re king, even if we don’t act kingly. Trust me, the more you make us feel like we’re special,
the more we’ll give in return. We’ll just try harder. Plain and simple. Take a page from my mother: every Sunday morning,
my daddy cut my hair for church, and when I got out of that chair, and lotioned up and put on my suit and my shoes and
walked into the living room where my mother was waiting for me, she would take one look at me and say, “Look at that boy’s
haircut—boy, you clean!” or “Look at you, boy—you sharp when you go to church!” I internalized the message—if I got a
fresh haircut and I put on a nice suit, my mother would compliment me, and I would walk out of the house with my shoulders
squared and head held high because my mother said I looked good and she was encouraging me to be presentable. And my
father’s chest was out as far as mine because every Sunday, she reminded him that he made it all possible; she kissed and
thanked him every Sunday.
A man needs that from his woman—he needs her to say,
“Baby, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you do for me and the kids.” Those simple words give us the strength to keep on doing right by you and the family. From working harder on the job, to bringing home that paycheck, to something as simple as throwing some meat on the grill on Saturday evenings or folding up a load of the laundry, we’ll do it more often if there is reward in it. That reward doesn’t cost you one red penny. It simply comes from the heart: Thank you, baby. I appreciate you.
You don’t know how important that is for your man; that little bit of encouragement makes him want to do more. You think
because we’re hard and we don’t want to cuddle that we don’t need that encouragement, but we do. And the woman who
comes along and says, “You so big and strong and you’re everything I need,” well, we’re going to go get some more of that!
2. Your Loyalty
woman’s love is emotional, nurturing, heartfelt— sweet and kind and all encompassing. You can slice a knife through it, it’s so thick. And when she’s in love with you, she is loyal to you—she can’t see herself with someone else, because for her, no one else will do. That’s a woman’s love.
ut for men, love is loyalty. We want you to show your love to us by being loyal. That means that no matter what, you’re
going to stand beside us. We get laid off, we know you’re going to stay, even if we’re not drawing a paycheck. You get around
your girlfriends, you’re going to say with great enthusiasm, “That’s my man. I’m loyal to him.” You’re going to hold on to our hand a little tighter and say from the bottom of your heart, “I don’t want any of those shiny, rich, fine men because my man is the only one for me!” (We can only hope that’s what you’ll say—smile.)
3. the Cookie
Men. Need. Sex. We love it. We need to be
physically engaged with the woman we love, the woman who is loyal to us and supports us, and the way that we do that is by
making love. The emotional stuff—the talking, the cuddling, the holding hands, and bonding, that’s y’all’s thing. We’ll do
those things because we know it’s important to you. But please understand: the way we men connect is by having sex. Period. It’s how we plug in, recharge, and reconnect.
You got about a good month at best without it. And then he’s going to get it from somewhere else (unless you’re carrying
his child).
Know this
1. Dont say "We need to talk."
2. If a man likes what he sees, he's going to go there and get it. He doesn't care anything about your personality or what you do for a living; your friends mean nothing to him, he just wants to know if he might be able to sleep with you, and he's talking to you to determine exactly how much he has to invest to get what he wants. Invest = your rules and requirements. (that you need his time, respect and attention)
3. Know his plans for you.
4. Lay out standards and requirements. (You need to respect me, put me and kids after God and above all others. Be clear to everyone involved in our lives that they will respect your relationship, and me.)
SportsFish VS keepers
"A Sports Fish:
Doesn't have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, and we men can pick up her scent a mile away. She's the party girl who takes a sip of her Long island Iced Tea or a shot of her Patron, then announces to her suitor that she just "wants to date and see how it goes," and she's the conservatively dressed woman at the office who is a master at networking, but clueless about how to approach men. She has no plans for any ongoing relationships, is not expecting anything in particular from a man, and sets absolutely not nary one condition or restriction on anyone standing before her - she makes it very clear that she's just along for whatever is getting ready to happen. For sure, as soon as she lets a man know through words and action that he can treat her just any old kind of way, he will do just that. Men will stand in line to sign up for that, believe me."
"A Keeper:
Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start from the moment you open your mouth. See, she understands her power and wields in like a samurai sword. She commands - not demands - respect, just by the way she carries herself. You can walk up to her and give her your best game, and while she may be impressed by what you say, that's no guarantee that she's going to let the conversation go any further, much less give you her phone number and agree to give you some of her valuable time. Men automatically know from the moment she opens her mouth that if they want her, they'll have to get in line with her standards and requirements, or keep it moving because she's done with games and isn't interested in playing."
Men cheat
- Because they can.
- They think they can get away with it. ("It aint me, I dont know who that is with my social security number all over his butt, with the same shoes as me, but that's not me!!")
- He hasn't become who he wants and needs or found who he truly wants.
- What's happening at home isn't "happening" like it used to. (Routine - and you've changed. The TY's come less frequently, there's alot of arguing going on... if he can't get what he signed up for back at the house, he's likely to go out and find it somewhere else..)
- There's always a woman out there who's willing to cheat with him.
Instead of Saying these.. say that
"I cant stand it when a man shows up late!" - SAY: Everybody is so busy these days - time sure is precious, isnt it? If I'm going to be late, it only takes a phone call to be courteous.
"if you're dating and sleeping with other women, Im not the one!" - SAY: I'm always honest with the man I'm dating; if I want to see other people besides him, I let him know up frotn so that he can decide if he wants to continue.
"I got 3 kids and 2 jobs because these children's dady aint worth a damn, so any man stepping to me better have a bank and be ready to raise some kids the right way or hit the highway" - SAY: Being a good mom is really important to me, and a part of being a good mom is making sure that my kids have a good father. I'm independent, but I realise how much better it would be for me and my family if a good man was in the picture.
5 questions to ask bfore getting in too deep
1. What are your short term goals? (to improve himself)
2. Long term goals (will have u in the plan)
3. Your views on r/ships
4. What you think about me? (ask to specify. why, list incidents)
5. What you FEEL about me? ¶ 5:09 AM
